Category Archives: Life

Why we are here, to talk about our lives, the stories that make us who we are.

Blackberry Jam

Ben confides to his friend Ash that he plans to commit suicide.  The two are in a neighborhood bar that they almost never frequent.  They have a lengthy detailed conversation about methods and timing.  Ash says his preferred method would be a pitcher of margaritas, a warm blanket, and a commercial walk-in freezer.  He’d die […]

Teeth

Teeth.  My first two teeth are chipped from a generally adventurous life and most recently from foolishly stripping insulation from wires with my teeth. Once my dentist asked me if I wanted to cap my chipped front teeth.  He offered to file them down and put what he called a prosthesis, a fake tooth cover, […]

At the Scene of an Intrigue: A River Before Dawn

Sleepy sleepy eyes creaking Open barely a caper Creeping a long coat, Hat pulled over eyes before the sun. Barely four hours sleep tucked Into my breast pocket Another hour borrowed time. A pre-dawn rainy-day Middle-of-the-bridge Hostage swap that didn’t come off. A cell phone in one pocket, a Cup and a packet of graham […]

Hurt and Gladness

Today, I rode through an autumn snow flurry of falling leaves on my way to work.  A single leaf separated from the flock and slapped me sharply across the lips.  I can still feel the place where it touched me. Yesterday, I hurt my shoulder while tumbling on the grass.  The insistent throbbing has diminished, […]

love and pie

Husband and I went on one of our urban hunting and gathering missions, as we like to call them, last weekend. There is an apartment complex near us that was built about 15 years ago on old farm land. They left two of the farmer’s apple trees for landscaping, and I don’t think anyone who […]

A Recipe for Perfect Lemonade

You’re sitting on the front steps of the little two bedroom place that you and your new bride rent — your charming little cottage with the big picture window and the hardwood floors recently refinished — and the baby is expected but not arrived yet, so she still pays attention to you, especially today that […]

Feathers, driftwood, old photographs, love notes

I’d like to live in a house on the water, a homemade houseboat, with a small engine that can move it slowly from here to there. A water squatter. A place with tin roof and tin walls, insulated for winter, with a wood burning stove for heating and cooking.  A porch, a porch swing, a […]

Parts into a sum

It is indeed winter in southern California, the sun low and blinding though warm and bright. My companions laugh; this resembles nothing of their winters, this farcical spring in a land that never pales. There are no seasons here, they complain. They hate this place. They don’t see what I see, and it’s obscured even […]

Grand

We walked down to the great meadow, your dancing hands accidentally bumped into mine as we navigated the steep terrain. At the bottom, I turned to you and touched your round cheek in my outstretch palm. Dragonflies and small winged insects hummed in the still, warm summer air, swimming in circles, catching the light. If […]

To My Friend, Who Happens To Be My Son

Letter to my dad, but not my father figure. To my friend, who happens to be my son. Dear Son, Dear Dad, There’s a moment in your childhood that I still have both the photograph and the photographic memory of.  You were standing beside a chain link fence near Tehachapi looking at me, humoring me and […]

night sounds

Like your Aunt said, I want to hear the night sounds. I want the kind of sounds one should hear at night. The sound of crickets, The sound of my lover’s breath. Perhaps even a little wind or Rain in the Spring and Fall tapping my roof and trickling down my windows. These are the […]

Letter to my dad, but not my father figure.

Dear Dad, I am awake and heading into town. You were right about writing early. Beautiful thoughts are filling my head this morning, giving me sway to write (now I am not so sure they are beautiful, but it feels good to have them in my head). It would be nice to see you, even […]

Double life

Can I feed my child? Simple enough request to ask the goddess when I was pregnant. I did not think this would end in a battle of stealing from trees/property (apples and lemons mostly). I can recall these recent years of struggle well. It was when I was most connected with my spirited no ties […]

catching a thermal

A hundred or so Turkey Vultures moved onto my street, behind my neighbor’s house where there are some very old trees and a thicket of undergrowth. They roost in large community groups and often stick to a certain spot for some time–they’ve been there, now, since early Autumn. They feed on carrion, and I have […]

A dream

she said “do you want me to take you

to the water’s edge?”

25 Random Things About Me

You have been tagged in this note.  Now you are obligated by the law of chain letters to respond. I was going to tell you about this guy in Peoria who didn’t pass this on, but I won’t tell you about his tragic misfortune. Here are the Rules:  Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed […]

crying

i felt like i couldn’t cry. i thought, what is it going to take? will it be like this forever? this god damn sadness has just been building and building up in my heart and it’s easy to ignore until the next bit of it comes. i’ll tell you that it’s getting so bad that […]

The great flying elevator

2009 greeted me with a harsh winter cold that made my voice deeper and hoarser than normal.  I bought a dungeness crab and a bottle of champagne and proceeded to get more drunk than my health would have preferred. Last night I saw the girl off to her father’s and went straight to bed, covered […]

inner pukings

A first… It’s a funny thing, to lose yourself, even while with yourself always… Where did I go wrong? How long has it been since I have been lost? I’m sometimes surprised at how I can be so gone, yet so aware of how screwed up my life has become. The change has been nice, […]

Bandon, Oregon

One winter morning, I had crab in Bandon, Oregon. I went up the coast and went out one morning and bought crab in Bandon, Oregon. I drove up along the rugged coast of Oregon and went out one morning and got crab in Bandon, Oregon. I rode up the coast on my motorcycle just as […]