Author Archives: Wes Modes

I lead numerous secret lives. I’m full of energy. I’m playful and mischievous. Beyond that, I’ll let my friends add their own cautionary testimonials. Oh, and I [insert hyperbole here].

I’m looking for someone to [insert more hyperbole here]. I want someone who’ll go trainhopping with me. I’m looking for someone to play with, to cause trouble with. Someone who does it all. Irreverent and serious. Strong and romantic. Buzzing with life and still takes time to watch clouds.

It takes for fucking ever to get to know someone on-line. Is it just me, or do people seem paralyzed by caution? Fuck that. Take a chance. Let’s race headlong to our certain doom. Send me a message. If you end up hating me, you don’t have to marry me.

I’m looking for a way to burn off excess energy. A way to spice up the mind-numbing boredom of a day job. I’m looking to stir up trouble, to inspire and be inspired by untamed people for crazy, reckless friendship.

Or maybe I’m just drinking too much coffee.


So When I Say I Like You

I don’t need kind words, Kind thoughts, Good intentions. I don’t need safe and sane, Right job, Right life. I was raised short on inspiration. I was raised where books on shelves, Where there were books, Were Condensed Books Like Condensed soup Down to nothing at all. Art was Tuesday’s at one. Music was radio. […]

Heat Wave

It’s sunny. What am I going to do with that? It’s sunny. And hot. The rain is drying up in puddles in the warm morning air. Babies are high-stepping up the sidewalk. I resent the time spent at work, and then stand dazed and speechless before the bigness of the little free time I have. […]

A Scene In Which Bay Reveals She Went to Morocco to Meet Paul Bowles

It was an area left to its own devices.  Rotting pilings, collapsing piers, concrete and fennel, warehouses left to the realms of rust and graffiti, the broken window, the gray heron.  On the bay side, sunny when the rest of the city was shrouded in fog, massive dry docks, power co-generation, an electrical substation for […]

Sand and Stone and Receding Distance

I slept in my truck the other night.  With the drip drip drip of my leaking gas line, and the tick tick tick of my cooling engine after another five hundred miles, and the slow rrrrroar of passing semis on the highway, I slept in my truck. And in the morning it was just too […]

From Where I Stand

The last time we see someone.  The last time I saw you.  You never know it at the time, of course.  And we look back and say, Hmm, was that the last time I saw him?  The last time I touched him? Was the last time on my road trip?  Almost certainly.  But that doesn’t […]


I’m walking, reading, already a bit dislocated, disassociated, disoriented. Reading and walking. A thing that brings stares and remarks, though since childhood and still utterly unremarkable to me. Up the stairs, along the temporary walkway behind the library, fans blowing HEPA filtered air out past construction debris and jackhammer tremors as they strip out the […]

West Oakland to Roseville

I waited in a gondola in the Desert Yard, blissed out with a cigar in the late afternoon sun. Golden sun, mellow cigar smoke, warm east bay afternoon.

Spoon Genesis

We wanted Spoon to be a safe place for stories, wild or tame, popular or controversial. We hoped it would stir the blood, warm the heart, and provide emotional sustenance.

The Healing Power of Rusted Metal

Clarity.  So fleeting.  I feel like clarity can be a squirrely elusive target. I’m sitting right now in one of my favorite secret places — the little disused rail car at the local trainyard. off on a siding.  A motorized car for workers that rides on the rail.  Quietly rusting at the end of the […]


She walks down the beach, hips swaying in the push of the soft sand. A willowy fireball. Which I just looked up, a brilliant meteor that may trail bright sparks.

Two pair of dreams

Two nights of unusual, thematic dreams. Each night, a different theme. Night before last, I dreamt two police interactions. In the first which I don’t remember well, I had a confrontation with a rent-a-cop who was trying to control me. I wouldn’t be controlled. In the second which I remember well, a traffic stop on […]

a shimmering sheet of blue

A crazy roadtrip across two states to see a friend. The traveler, the dreamer, the exotic circus lady. Talk about her need for rootedness and my need to uproot some of mine. Coming from opposite directions, maybe we can meet in the middle. Beyond, a defile between the mountains descended rapidly about two thousand feet; […]

A Moving Target

You understood that the people at the other end of the wires were a finite and knowable group of humans who’s stories you knew to a degree.


How are you doing?  What are you doing with your life?  Does it feel meaningful?  Are you content?  Are you fulfilled?  Do you feel free?  Are you spending every minute of your life like it is the only one you have?  Does your life feel real?  Do you have a direct connection with your survival?  […]

To Spoon, Or Not To Spoon?

Four years later, after nearly 3000 editions of the Spoon Digest, 36 thousand stories, 14 million words, and 88 million characters, we had to admit that yep, I guess yeah, it might work okay.

A Note to My Vagabonding Friend

I wanna write crazy messages, but I don’t think I have stationary crazy enough to hold them.  I’m thinking of you, but maybe not you, but a crazy idea of freedom, or something beyond this, or beyond everything and I don’t know what that would be.  An aimless roadtrip through no-name towns, gas station bathrooms […]

a note to a soulmate across the years

Thinking of you while motorcycling through the redwood hills of Santa Cruz.  Summer thoughts, wishing I were breaking asphalt in the hot sun to get the full effect of the summer sun.  Or bored as a child at a family picnic eating cob after cob off of a tall buttery plate.  Or hours lost to […]